Bumped into this...IV

"Relationship are both something more and something other than what the individuals bring into them."
Watzlawick

The "C" Factor

A and B - relationship (inside ones)
C - third person (outsider)

"In family systems theory, whenever two people have problems with each other, one or both will "triangle in" a third member. People respond to anxiety between each other by shifting the focus to a third person, triangulation. In a triangle, two are on the inside and one is on the outside."
From where





"The anxiety or tension of each of the participants generates the activity in triangles. A two-person relationship (A and B) will be stable as long as it is calm. When anxiety increases, however, the presence of a third person (C) can decrease anxiety by "spreading it out" over three relationships. This makes it less likely that one relationship will overheat. (...)  
 If you understand the position you occupy in a triangle, it may be possible to bring it to a positive conclusion."
From where

GOD, are you mocking me?!

From the "Journal of Marital and Family Therapy":

 " Best practice in couple relationship education"

"...is intended to reduce the prevalence of relationship distress, divorce, and the associated personal and social costs."

(De leitura obrigatória para a próxima aula de terapia!)

Single Motherhood!

Why Are Single Moms the Ultimate Catch?

By Rachel Sarah

Did you think there was just one answer? Here's why we're so dateable and irresistible.

1. We love to laugh.

C'mon now, our roommate is a kid! We love to have fun, play silly games, invent special words, and tease each other.

2. We are the essence of self-governance.

We are not waiting by the phone, desperate for it to ring. (Most of the time, I don't even hear the phone ringing!) Single moms usually give the other person plenty of breathing room.

3. We know how to say "pretty please"

Please as in:
"Please pass the salt."
"Please take the trash out."
"Please rub right here."

We rank up there with the most polite and well-mannered women you'll ever meet. No, we're not trying to earn extra Brownie points with you; we simply want to be good role models. (Oh, you'll hear us say "thank you" a lot, too.)

4. We are self-sufficient.

Hey, we are handling the responsibilities of single motherhood! Our cabinets are stocked with snacks. Our washing machine is always spinning. After years of managing solo, we are also professional planners. You won't find us sitting around twiddling our thumbs on a sunny day--or a rainy one!

5. We are clear-headed.

We know what we want in life--and we're not afraid to forfeit our child for just any one. Consider yourself fortunate to be going on a date with us.

6. We are past the party-animal stage.

If you're looking for a real, long-term relationship, we are ready. We're not playing games, or dating just to fill the time.

7. We value our time with you.

Because our daily lives are often a juggling act--between carpooling, childcare, work--we make sure that our time together is precious.

8. We appreciate the little things.

Because we enjoy our time out together, we love the simple joys of life, like laughter, neighborhood strolls, and hugs.

9. We don't require grandiose dates.

We realize what it costs to raise a family and pay the bills. A loving conversation over a home-cooked meal is often more impressive than a fancy night on the town.

10. We love to be affectionate.

That's a parent, right? We will wrap our arms around you and decorate you with kisses.


From where.

A (des)propósito

... quem não precisa de "espaço", precisa de tratamento!

Prof. de Terapia, 6ª feira, na aula

'Tá certo, certíssimo!!!

" Não interessa se é casamento ou divórcio, se são casados, descasados, divorciados/casados ou casados/divorciados, interessa a RELAÇÃO que têm ou que querem manter."

Prof. de Terapia, ontem, na aula

" Hipótese é uma coisa que não é, mas que a gente faz de conta que é, só pra ver como seria caso ela fosse!"

É impossível não comunicar...

-Todo o comportamento tem um valor de mensagem, logo é comunicação!
-Não há nada contrário a comportamento. É impossível alguém ter um não-comportamento!
-Se aceitarmos que todo o comportamento numa situação de interacção tem um valor de mensagem, deduz-se que não se pode não comunicar.
-Retracção, silêncio, imobilidade são comportamentos que significam recusa de comunicar. “Eu comunico-te que não comunico”.
(Pragmática da Comunicação Humana - Watzlawick)
- A informação da informação constitui uma meta-informação. A capacidade de meta-comunicar de forma adequada constitui condição sine qua non da comunicação eficaz. No entanto,é possível construir mensagens que oferecem indícios meta-comunicacionais muito ambíguos!!!
(Bateson)

(Estudar tem destas coisas! Aparecem-nos tantas verdades pela frente...)